I think I
by Shrine Maiden Kitty
Summary: A sad story. Ken thinks highly of suicide, and when the right message gets through it's too late...


Kitty: *Disclaimer* I don't own Digimon, or it's characters I guess because the Digimon annoy me... stupid batpig...  
  
Kitty: I hope you people enjoy this, it only took me an hour to write...  
  
Ken: You should be sleeping, it's three in the morning and tomorrow is the first day of school.  
  
Kitty: ??????? ************************************************ I'm Going to do It  
  
I think I'm going to do it. I have nothing to live for anymore. No family, no friends. No love, no place to go. I think that drowning in my own self-pity wouldn't be as effective as drowning in my own stale blood.  
  
So I'm going to do it, today, somewhere secret, after school.  
  
**  
  
Ken placed something, shining metallic in the dim light, into his backpack. "No one will ever mistaken me for my brother again," he whispered, and silently walked out of the room, backpack in tow.  
  
Walking to school Ken sulked silently to himself. He didn't want to go to school. To face those unforgiving youths once more. Taunting and teasing, releasing the past once more. "Who would of ever imagined," he whispered silently to himself, "that me of all people, has dark secrets?"  
  
He quickened his pace when he saw the large brick building, it seemed so... run down. Not a place for happy children, it was like a torture chamber full of children that had grown up too soon, and missed the simple message of life. Children here didn't know how to swallow pride, and Ken had learnt it the hard way.  
  
"You'd think that they would at least paint the place once and a while," Ken mused while walked swiftly across the courtyard, a few children giving a wave or a greeting. "What do they think they know about me?" Ken mused silently to himself. "They are not my friends, they are the peers that look up to me with no onlook on how my life really is. They just want the sick pride of knowing me for their own five minutes of fame.  
  
"I hate it so much..." Ken quickly ran into school, as to not be late for his first class.  
  
~*~  
  
"Hey! Why don't we go get Ken and all go down to the ice cream parlor?!" Daisuke Motomiya suggested with a grin. He was walking prouldly in front of the others, being a leader and all. "Okay," Hikari agreed, "I need to take my mind off of all that homework!"  
  
The five ran off to Tamachi.  
  
~*~  
  
"Stupid school..." Ken mumbled angrily, wiping the blood from his mouth. And trying to stop the tears from falling. "I hate it... I HATE IT!" Ken screamed, arousing a few stares from other students heading his direction.  
  
Ken had been bullied by the same kids that had been smiling and waving in the morning, and no one else seemed to care enough to help. Sure, Ken could have taken them out easily with some Judo, but he didn't want to hurt any more people. He had done enough of that to his friends...  
  
Or were they? Were Takeru and Hikari his friends? Did Miyako simply just fawn over him because of his publicity? He knew for a fact little Iori wasn't very fond of him at all. But what about Daisuke? Was there any fault to that strong boy? Ken wasn't sure, but he couldn't wimp out now, he needed to get this over with...  
  
~*~  
  
"There's the school, they must of let out five minutes ago," Takeru mused, watching a last few students leaving quietly to head home. "Yeah, but where's Ken? Do you think he went home already?" Miyako asked curiously, looking about for the raven haired teen.  
  
"Naw, I don't think he goes home right away, he told me he usually goes to the park after school," Daisuke answered, looking toward the park entrance that wasn't more than 300 feet away. "Okay, then let's go see!" Iori suggested, and the five ran toward the park.  
  
~*~  
  
Ken pattered over to a desolate bush, out of the way of anyone's sight. "Do I have any last words?" he laughed to himself bitterly, pulling his backpack onto his lap as he sat onto the cool grass.  
  
He opened his backpack, and pulled out an object, cool to the touch, and ran a curious finger across it's body. "Mama always said you were such a stupid, stupid boy..." he chuckled bitterly, messing with gears and such on the object.  
  
"Ken! Ken, are you here?" a voice rang through the air, it was Daisuke. "Damnit!" Ken cursed, and worked faster, he wasn't going to give in now, not now, he had worked so hard to get this far. He quickly put the object to his head and gulped, feeling skeptical now. Was it worth it? But the following was all a blur...  
  
"Ken!" Daisuke cried when he found his friend, facing opposite of him behind a bush, holding something and placing it to his head. "KEN! DON'T!" he screamed. The excitement in Daisuke's voice startled Ken so much that on impact he pulled the trigger.  
  
A gun shot ran through the air, eerie silence following.  
  
"Why, Ken," Daisuke whispered, "I thought that you knew we loved you..."  
  
Now I've done it... And I regret it. ********************************************************* Kitty: Hopefully anyone thinking of sucide will think twice before deciding. I have tried and find it very hard to follow through with. Even if I still feel that no one cares, I guess I have other things to look forward to in life. Like my talents and education. I hope this opened some peoples eyes, and I want to thank my friend Angie for opening mine.  
  
Ken: It's hard to find good help these days ain't it?  
  
Kitty: ARGH! YOU ALWAYS RUIN MY ANGSTY MOMENTS!  
  
Ken: What are you going to do about it? Smother me? I'm a figment of your sick imagination!  
  
Kitty: You're coming to school with me tomorrow! Because I need you!!!!!!  
  
Ken: ?????? 


End file.
